It has been a while since you last looked at yourself in a mirror.

You stepped closer, putting your hand shakily on your reflection, your lips couldn't help but pull into a sad grimace.Ĭhapped lips, frizzled (H/L) (H/C) hair, pulled up sleeves revealing trails of scars, rivulets lined your cheeks like tiny river streams, large bags hanging underneath your (E/C) orbs, still shining with unwept tears, eyes empty empty empty― The creature facing you was not the beautiful, bright girl that your parents had once loved this was a scarred, defeated, freak who no one liked. Hauling yourself up, you stood in front of the mirror. 'No, it isn't.' You repeated, choking it out. But it died down quickly when you realized that the voices were right. 'No, it isn't!' You shouted, a spark of fury flaring up inside you. You promised yourself you would never do it again. 'No no no no no.' You shook your head violently, trying to tell the voices to quiet down. The voice's sharpness jerked you back into reality. Without the help from friends nor family, it got worse so bad, that you had to sneak several blades into your pint-sized room in the orphanage. And even if you got out there, you don't have money it would be just as useless. What were you supposed to do? Tell the head of the orphanage that you were ' very sad and needed to see a doctor'? As long as the government is paying them, they wouldn't let one kid out of their sight not willingly anyway. The constant sadness and occasional emptiness that kept weighing you down were as heavy as lead.Įven though you were very aware of this demon living inside of you, you did nothing―you couldn't―to stop it. But you didn't care your sixteen-year-old-self knew that there were no people there who'd waste their precious time on you without involving money.įrom then on, you felt yourself going slower―not just walking, it was like your entire body just got drained you've had trouble remembering things that you shouldn't have forgotten, and that tiny seed of hopelessness planted inside you grew larger. Those 'officials' and your so-called family members discussed your mom and dad's fortune and your adoption. You were immediately transported to the nearest orphanage. Was it your fault? Maybe they had gotten sick of you.Īs days went by, the situation got worse: your parents had died in a car crash. Two of your closest friends you've ever had had left. You were baffled and started to blame yourself.

A few days later, he disappeared without a trace―no note, no goodbye, no nothing. After a while, though, he began visiting less and less, claiming he had 'important matters to attend to.' But you just shook your head, saying it's fine. Still, he wouldn't tell you his name, so you started calling him 'Raven' because of his hair. And you were very glad to have someone who'd fill the hole that Bruce had left. 'Hello (Y/N), a pleasure to meet you,' he said, grinning. Despite you two never introduced, he still knew your name, somehow. Soon after that, though, you happened to find a certain young, black-haired boy wandering in the streets in front of your new house. But after you had to move away, you went to another school, then you and Bruce grew distant. You went to the same elementary school together Bruce was the smart kid, you were the people person. You remembered how you two were―inseparable.

But you seem like you do need some, don't you? You reckon he'd already forgotten about you. Sure, you guys were close, but that was at least 15 years ago. His face gave away nothing, but you saw it in that 0.1 second: pity. He just took one look at you and said yes. Since you were childhood friends with the one and only Bruce Banner, he asked Tony to give you a home in the tower, without much persuasion. The misery and loneliness were swallowing you bit by bit.ĭisemployment, economic failure, failure in yourself you name it. What the fuck are you doing with your life?Įach word is like a punch in the gut, making you struggle for air as tears continue to pour from your (E/C) eyes. The eerie calm around you made you feel strange because the raging storm of thoughts inside you certainly isn't peaceful at all. It was a chilly night the moon glowed outside your half-covered window. You shuddered as another wave of pain rolled over you.

Christian coma x reader about selfharm